Active Disinterest does not mean Asexual

I had a few thoughts this week, from watching some guys I was working with.

Some guys (I can't remember who) re-labelled the term Active Disinterest as "Tentative Interest". I think this came from Swinggcat, I'm not sure. To me this is all the same thing, but for some guys this distinction could be useful because they are learning only from text so it's important for the terminology to be as accurate as possible. Since they aren't seeing direct examples, nothing can be taken for granted I suppose.

A few pointers on this:

1- I always tell guys to focus on having fun and being social rather than appearing to be trying too hard to "pickup" (so as not to be perceived and treated as the next cheesy sexually needy guy of the night).

But that said, I assume that guys are coming across like MEN here, and there is a sexual vibe between them and the girls already. Many guys I've seen though will take this too far, which is understandable, but IMO it's a mistake. I personally will pull a lot of stripper type stuff, like coquettish "You can't have me" looks. But in doing so, the fact that you're subcommunicating "you can't have me" *assumes* that the vibe between you is sexual. Otherwise, the idea of her not HAVING YOU wouldn't come up at all.. See? : )

Direct examples of ways to do so include quickly turning and facing the hot girl directly, moving a bit closer to her, and shooting a quick triangular gaze from hard eye contact down to her lips, then looking back up to her eyes and making a playful smile and backing away from her a bit to turn to her friends. Watch the girls go insane at this. You could then shoot her a playful nod like "Not gonna happen". Then engage the friends a bit, even though the hot girl knows there's something between you, and watch her work to get your attention by trying to cut in. Then when she pulls her typical "I can get what I want" girl jumping in front of everyone stuff to get your validation, say "Hey! Wait your turn. How do you guys roll with this girl?!", and then give her another VERY sexual playful look, then back off again. Even shoot her a touch on the shoulder and raise your eyebrows, and back off again. Often she'll throw herself up in your face at this point, and from there you can work her directly because she's chosen you. With group theory, and ignoring the target, that doesn't always mean *full* ignorance. It just means not making the friends socially uncomfortable, so that you can benefit from the girl thinking "Wow, my friends love this guy", which can only help you. It doesn't mean get pre-occupied and distracted from the goal, though, by being focused on the wrong things. Otherwise you'll get cases like the hot girls walking off so their UG friend can have a chance with you, which some newbies have reported.

Again, much apologies to the guys to whom this is a blatantly obvious truism, but after some recent posts cropping up, I suppose that it needed clarification.

Point is, once the girl has chosen you, you can get her comfortable (as posted in T/T recently) and sit her down and WORK.

For me, it is more efficient to bait the girl into chasing me within 1-2 minutes, then going in and having her screening me and working against the current. Because I have my bodylanguage and confidence down fully, I am not concerned about being sexually needy with my openers, and I know that the girls will take care of this for me 90% of the time without me having to verbally prompt them (since my bodylanguage and vibe will do this for me).

2- When opening groups of guys, you can either work the guy and ignore the girl, work the guy until he's committed to not having a prob with you being there and then move to the girl (this should take only seconds to 1 minute), or blowing the guy out completely (this last one is easily done when you are 'alpha', because the girls give you so much attention so quickly, that the guys just give up and walk away with their tail between their legs). I use all three, by using common sense.

I've seen some posts lately about what is better, going to the target or engaging the whole group. The answer is to use your brain and common sense. Do what is natural and the path of least resistance in the particular situation.

The only rule of pickup is to be clearly cooler than the girl (I recall David D calling this "The Prime Directive: Never communicate lower social value"). That being the case, take the path of least social resistance, based on what you can tell will obviously work. Many of the rules of pickup as seen on ASF are generalities and ideas that are intended to make things run more smoothly, but always need to be moderated by common sense.

My personal most common approach on guy/girl mixed sets is to engage the group, but the second the guy gives tacit consent to me being there, I blow him out on the spot and engage the girl directly. This takes only seconds. Typically I prefer for him to stay there, because I can eclipse him so strongly that him sitting there watching me only increases my status. This is like striking out like a tiger or something. Like seriously, you go in and come across way cooler than the guy within seconds, and the instant that he obviously is lower than you he is tooled and you cut into the girl and go for it. Still, if I see the girl is going crazy getting all wet by me ignoring her, I'll keep it up. Some girls are just like that, and if I see it I calibrate by playing it out. Or the dude may be just a cool guy, in which case I'll hang with him and I know he'll hook me up (which has happened to me many times). Either way, when Mystery posts about engaging the group, he is not advising the kind of Social Robot behaviours that Style recently posted about. Have I mentioned common sense? : )